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 | Главная » 2010 » Март » 17 » Без заголовка
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Maria thanks her and goes off to bed.At long last, my review of Magadalena Maria: Maria-san's (Mad) Apple Tea Party! Please be warned that this contains extensive spoilers for the plot. I'll put those details behind a cut, so just skip that part if you would rather wait to see the DVD.
The play was the concept of actor, singer and seiyuu Yuzawa Kouichirou (blog, Japanese wikipedia page), who wrote the sсript and the character songs as well as starring as Maria Magdalena. He also did the photography for the pamphlet and photo sets. Art is credited to Maruo Suehiro (official site, English wikipedia page), who obviously did the illustration for the set in the second act.
The play was a huge success, which hopefully means that there will be either a second run or some sort of continuation. It was definitely one of the best shows I've seen in Japan!
Basic story: Maria Magdalena, a high-class prostitute and singer, and also the manager of an exclusive brothel in Vienna, decides to bring her show to Japan. The problem is that nobody knows who she is there, so how shall they get the word out? Will the show meet with success or failure? Meanwhile, there's a slight problem behind the scenes with people plotting to kill each other.
Characters:
Maria Magdalena (Yuzawa Kouichirou) - a magnanimous diva who affects the images of Sarah Bernhardt and Marlene Dietrich, as well as a bit of Sarah Brightman. The costumes are also a wonderful melange of corsets, kimonos and beaded headdresses.
Grace (Tsuda Kenjirou) - Maria's best friend and fellow prostitute, more on the bawdy side though she dresses very Marie Antoinette.
Karl (KENN) - a rakish young baron who frequents the brothel and monopolizes Rosemary's time.
Rosemary (Yonehara Kousuke) - the youngest and cheapest (and dumbest) girl at the brothel. She's in love with Karl, who won't let her be with any other men. She's dressed like Raggedy Ann.
Kobaken (Kobayashi Kenichi) - the butler at Maria Magdalena's brothel. He has an obsession with stealing things and eating them which tends to get him into trouble.
Klara (Saitou Yasuka) - a devilish blonde vixen who's recently come to Maria Magdalena's establishment after leaving her previous workplace. She gets three different outfits: Elegant Gothic Lolita, a loose-haired blonde maiko, and Hollywood starlet.
Hans (Nagashima Shuugo) - an orphan who gets a job as an assistant at the brothel. Klara takes a fancy to him because she likes young boys.
Kurihara/"Clipper" (Fujiwara Yuuki) - Maria's man on the scene in Japan. He's dressed like Michael Jackson's nightmare in a giant shiny purple suit and white hat.
"Samurai" (Ichinose Hidekazu) - an actor who runs into Kurihara in Japan and gets dragged into the Maria performances. Much breaking of the 4th wall goes here!
Now, if you are wondering why an all-male cast performed as female prostitutes... my only answer is that on rare occasions, the world is great and beautiful.
Theater and Location: Kabukichou, an area of Shinjuku famous for yakuza, semi-legalised prostitution in the forms of soaplands, host and hostess bars, love hotels and other shady dealings. The theatre was "Theater Apple," part of the well-known Koma Theater complex. It was a great hall with good acoustics and sightlines! I'd be very happy to see more shows there in the future, though I thought I'd heard somewhere that the Koma Theater was going to be torn down.
Plot:
Act One
The show begins with an accordion player in a suit and bowler hat making his way through the crowd up to the stage, setting the feel of the scene as Europe. After his introduction, Hans stumbles on to the stage, having just been punched in the face by an angry shop-owner he was stealing from. He's managed to steal one piece of bread, though. After mock-offering the precious bread to the crowd, Hans sings a song about it. This edge is the main dish, the filling's dessert... then the other edge... too many carbohydrates!... he's an orphan who's gotten too old to stay in the institute, so now he lives behind the music school. When he hears beautiful arias, it's like the mother whose face he doesn't know is gently caressing his ears. Eh, Hans shrugs, and plops down on the stage to eat his dinner. As he's sitting there, though, there's the sound of wind - in fact, a guy in a white bodysuit with the kanji for "wind" on a piece of paper stuck to his chest appears and dangles a piece of paper over Hans' face until he swats it off the line. Maria Magdalena's is looking for help, huh... oh, they offer room and board? Nice! There are some requirements, though. Height: from 10 centimeters to 3 meters. Sex: male or other. (etc.) Hans: Hey! This sounds perfect! 
Hans is at the gate of Maria Magdalena's establishment, talking with the butler, Kobaken. Kobaken isn't doing so well... he has a big white bandaid in an X on his forehead, and he keeps almost making sounds like he's going to throw up, lol. He asks about Hans' schooling, and Hans is kind of like "well, I come... by way of the nearby music school?" This gets him in to see Maria herself, as she's in the middle of rehearsals for the upcoming shows in Japan. The curtains open at last and reveal a set for the brothel in Vienna - two fusuma-screened rooms on either side where the prostitutes (Rosemary and Klara, respectively) do their business, a stairway in the center leading up to a vestibule with a statue of the Virgin Mary, and in the center, a couch and some chairs, all very elegant looking. There are posters of Marlene Dietrich and a turn of the century actress on the wall, as well as what appears to be a poster of the Emperor Hirohito (!) [I could be wrong though... somebody from WW2 Japan in any case]
Cue the first song: Maria Magdalena performing "La Habanera" from Bizet's Carmen. W-wow!!! I could hardly believe this was a man singing. Truly impressive counter-tenor voice and all the trimmings, including a stunning black corset with pink and red trim, a red and pink kimono "jacket" slung over her shoulders, a hat with very curious paper(?) flowers, red high heels.
On the highlights of the music, the rooms were lit up so you could see silhouettes through the fusuma - Rosemary and Klara entertaining their customers. I admit I only really looked at Klara's side as soon as I figured out who had the long hair... being held by the long hair and spanked, that is.
The song ends and Grace, Maria's BFF, comes out on stage to congratulate her and then give her some tips - which Maria really doesn't want to hear. Instead, it's time for some refreshment, so she calls for tea! Klara opens the sliding door of her room and hops out, wearing a really cute Goth-Loli looking dress with nearly-black burgundy panels and white trim, with a tiny black hat pinned to her head, and low black heels. Klara goes right into the next song, "Tea Time" (an original song for the musical - the words are in the pamphlet). Next, Kobaken and Grace come on stage to continue the song, bringing out a table which Klara helps set with the fixings for a tea party. Maria calls for Rosemary, who's still in her room with her client. Rosemary rushes out to join in the song, wearing her cute Raggedy Ann outfit (here's a good picture of Klara and Rosemary showing what Klara wears at the beginning). Her client, Karl, comes out too, turns around away from the audience to zip up his pants, and then joins in the song as well. This is a really cute, upbeat song with a nice dance to go along. Everybody plops down on chairs and starts enjoying the tea. Karl and Rosemary cuddle together on the couch.
Talk about work in the brothel goes here. Klara's had six customers tonight, so she's tired! Grace poo-poohs this and says that when she was Klara's age, she had ten customers in an hour! Naughty talk about how to deal with so many men's "comings and goings" and Karl telling "Rosie" she's better off not learning any more tricks of the trade. Maria: why are you, a client, sitting around like you live here? isn't it obvious? Because he and Rosie don't ever want to be apart... (Grace, Klara and Maria all kind of go "ugh," lol). Grace talks about a customer with a foot fetish and how she gets him going by keeping her boots on (Klara: *pout* but that's a little...) and putting sardines in her socks. In the midst of all this, Kobaken comes in with Hans.
Klara: Kawaii- kitanai kedo. [Cute - but dirty.]
The interview doesn't go too well, as Hans fails at polite Japanese. Maria gives him a long, hard look and tells him that it just won't work - language and slovenly dress like that doesn't belong at a high-class brothel. They all laugh at poor Hans when he reveals that he had no idea it was a brothel.
Kobaken is going to lead him out when there's suddenly an incoming telegraph(?) - it's Kurihara, who Maria calls Clipper, live from Japan! The code? DEEP PURPLE! In other words, an emergency! the same code that was used during Pearl Harbour (etc., etc. - Kurihara is going on and on frantically). Maria interrupts him and is like "okay, so what are the results?" (I don't know when the telegraph became a telephone - these sorts of details are best not thought about, really) Kurihara's done his initial research to find out how famous Maria Magdalena is in Japan. He unfurls a map of Tokyo all in purple. Shibuya - 0% recognition! Ginza - 0%! Shinjuku - 0%! Chitose Karasuyama - 0.04%! (ROFL) Maria reels back in shock! But, the shows in Paris were such a success! What will happen?!
(As the shows went on, Klara kept trying to offer Hans a sweet from the tray during this part while Maria and Kurihara were talking. She finally got him to take one and eat it in the later shows, but in the very last show, Klara chose the big pink lollypop which she was licking rather explicitly throughout, and Hans refused to lick it too XD XDDD)
The phone/telegraph ends and Kurihara goes back offstage. What will become of the shows? Maria's worried that Japanese audiences won't get it because they can't understand French or German. Even though she's been practising "Chouchou no fujin" [or something like that, a Japanese name for a Western aria]...
Hans interrupts suddenly. Wasn't she practising La Habanera (using the Japanese title for the song, maybe "Yoru no jou no aria")? He tells them that the two songs are different and hums the beginning of the other one, and then explains that they actually have opposite meanings.
Maria: Really? Oh, well, the lyrics are in French so I really have no idea what it's about (ROFL)
After this, she decides Hans is useable after all. They do the interview over again, but this time instead of first asking his name and age, she asks if he has a lover. No, Hans replies. Has he ever had one? No. Everybody snickers. (Grace: Guhuhuhu!!!) Then she says that his outfit (a raggedy tank top and shorts with a baggy shirt on top) won't do and it's time for everybody to arrange his look. The girls are all too happy to do so, and Klara whisks the shirt off while Rosemary and Grace rip off his shorts and tank-top (LOL!!) Hans tries to cover himself, as he's now only in briefs, but Grace and Klara take one hand each and start parading him around, showing him off to the audience and getting everybody to cheer!!! "Nice isn't it? Take a look at this young boy's body? Look at his teenaged ass!" (They turn him around and Klara pokes him on the butt) This play... is so great... Then they put Hans in a box, the front of which has some different outfit choices that Kobaken flips through. Greek youth? Roman soldier? Salome? Jester card from Alice in Wonderland? Bunny girl? Finally they choose "obocchan" (think Little Lord Fauntleroy) and Hans emerges from the box in a red velvety jacket, frilly white shirt and black shorts over black shiny shoes and white socks.
Maria asks him his name again (Friedrich something-or-other), waves it off as too troublesome, and renames him Hans. Nobody working there uses their real name, she says. Then she tells him that he has to know this place is all about the "subtleties" of men. What does that mean, he asks? She says that the best way to explain it is to tell him about her first love. Everybody grabs a big dark blue cloth from the back of the stage, hold it in place and move it gently so that it moves like ocean waves, lol. There's a big orange sun at one end, and Kobaken appears, playing her first love, wearing a Germanic-looking "boat" with a dragon's head at one end, on a string over his head, lol. They "ride" together as Kobaken rows and sings Schubert's Winterreise (I think - aaah more good singing yeay) Then her first love tells her he'll go and get the setting sun for her and bring it to her! here- take the oar.. Here- take the boat! and he jumps into the water and pulls the sun free and.. gets sucked into the water.. and drowns. Exceptional loev can be exceptionally stupid. Maria's second love was a piano player! Again, Kobaken plays a very silly looking piano for his "muse" ... until it turns out to be the legendary people-eating piano, which eats him. Maria turns to Hans. "Do you understand now?" Hans: "...I understand perfectly."
It's time for bed, so Maria asks Klara to tell Hans what he needs to know(!). Klara jumps up, all happy. "Really, I get to?" "You like young boys, don't you?" "I love them~!" (LOL!!) Klara skips over to Hans and introduces herself. Then she trails one finger up his back and tells him she's new too, so let's try our best together <3? Then she hauls him off to her room, lol. Grace and Kobaken clear up the tea.
Karl and Rosemary are alone together, and it's time for Karl to say goodnight. Rosemary hates it every time he leaves! (She grabs Karl by the waist, picks him up and spins him around, omg hahaha) Karl hates it too but that's what has to happen, unless they could get married. Rosie could have a normal life! They could always be together! But Maria won't let it happen. Is that really okay, Karl asks? Does Rosemary just think of him as a client?
Rosemary: Baka! [idiot] Baka baka baka!!! *starts pounding on Karl's chest* Baka!! Baka!!! *knees him in the crotch* HAGE!!! [bald] *pointing and screaming* HAGE!! HAGE!!!!
Rosemary explains that she has a debt to Maria, who paid off what Rosie's father owed. Karl tells he that he can't keep coming back, he's running out of money.
Karl: I have something to ask of you.
Rosemary: ....AHHHHH DON'T ASK TO BORROW MONEY!!! *runs off to the other end of the stage*
Karl: It's not that-
Rosemary: EVEN IF YOU TRY TO FORCE IT OUT OF ME (etc.)
she spins around laughing hysterically, and then Karl shouts at the piano player to stop playing and then clonks her on the head to get her to shut up. lol!!!
Meanwhile, Grace and Kobaken have come back on stage. Grace wants to eavesdrop, so after she gets rid of Kobaken, who keeps mistaking her gestures for invitations to make out, she sneaks up right behind Karl and Rosemary.
Karl whips out a bottle of poison, though trying to explain the name of it to Rosemary and then the idea of using it is a little troublesome. He almost catches Grace eavesdropping twice, but she manages to fool him. Finally Rosemary gets the picture, sort of: if she poisons Maria Magdalena, then she can be with Karl forever... they exchange a "gute nacht" (there is a lot of amusingly bad German, I should add) Meanwhile, Klara's door opens and she is telling Hans that it's the fourth place she's been to, because "various things happened" at the other brothels. But those are the basics on Maria Magdalena's... Hans is putting his shoes back on and Klara sidles up behind him like "anou ne..." (so what about...)
Hans: "I'm not interested in older women."
Klara shoves him out on his ass and closes the door, lol!
Then Hans runs into Rosemary, who's carrying the bottle of poison. He's not sure where to sleep, and then Maria comes in as well. She tells Hans where his bedroom is, and then she looks at Rosemary and tells her that it's not any good for a prostitute to fall in love. Does she understand? Rosemary nods, and then Maria goes upstairs to pray to her statue of the Virgin, while Rosemary goes into her bedroom.
Maria is upstairs and Karl is downstairs on the main stage. He says that he must get rid of her to be with the one he loves, and he asks forgiveness. Maria asks for the safety and happiness of everybody in her brothel. They sing an amazing duet, a variation of Salve Regina by Pergolesi. It was a real treat to hear Kenn sing classical music! I was in paradise...
The next scene takes place in Japan. Kurihara is trying to figure out what to do so Maria doesn't kill him when the show's a big disaster. He's got a calculator out as he's about to go into a song when suddenly, somebody screams from the back of the theatre: TONO-SAMA!!!! And a guy in a samurai-era outfit comes racing down through the audience to the stage, whips out a katana and starts hacking away at invisible enemies, complete with sound effects. Kurihara: Umm...
Samurai guy: YOU!!! *attacks*
Kurihara spins around and is like "what are you doing?!"
S: Don't you remember the moves?
K: I never learned them in the first place!
S: well, nothing we can do now - next is right, left, under!
he attacks by stabbing to the right, to the left, and beneath, which Kurihara successfully avoids.
S: Three blows!
One, two, three and then he stabs the katana into the ground and K successfully rolls away unharmed.
S: Now... free!
K: FREE?!
Much silliness ensues, including Kurihara fighting off the katana with his hands, feet and Michael Jackson hat, trying to explain to the samurai guy that there is no tono-sama here and possibly he is in the WRONG theater (it turns out he was going to the Koma theater, so Kurihara pulls out the flyer for Maria Magdalena and explains that this is Theater Apple - S: Hey - isn't that me in the middle of the picture?) and the samurai guy looking out at the crowd and saying "...the audience isn't going crazy yet, though!" Kurihara agrees and does a special spinning move to send him out and away.
K: ....okay, what was I doing?
The piano music starts up again and K is about to go into the song for the second time when one of the fusuma doors slams open and the samurai guy is there again screaming TONO-SAMA!!! and charges Kurihara. ahahaha!!! They have the same argument and then "...the audience isn't going crazy yet, though, are they?" and Kurihara has to basically roll him off the stage. He kept trying to come back in the very last show XD XDDD
I should note here that Ichinose Hidekazu, who does this part, is famous for his roles in samurai dramas and for his sword-fighting abilities.
Finally, the piano starts again and K does his song - for all of two lines.
Kurihara: ...That's it?!
The music changes to a cute bouncy rhythm for a doll-like dance. First Klara and Hans come in, then Rosemary and Karl. Kurihara collapses on a chair at the brothel. He's telling the prostitutes about meeting the samurai. Rosemary is excited; she'd like to meet one in the flesh! Karl explains that they don't really exist anymore. Kurihara says something about his pants while thrusting... I dunno. It resulted in Klara petting his crotch and saying hello to it, lol.
Maria comes in with Hans, Kobaken and Grace. Hans is carrying a giant paper bag, which turns out to be Grace's medication - for the week. He and Kobaken take it upstairs to her room. Maria sits on the couch and they discuss what to do for the Japan shows in order to match the current trends there. Rosemary suggests meganekko! Megane idols! (Klara: so if your real face is ugly, you hide it?) They happen to have a box of glasses in case a customer has that fetish, so Rosemary tries a few on before they find a pair that work, red ones. Grace says she looks like Mary Poppins - not that she's actually seen Mary Poppins. Karl tells her she looks like the main character in a manga. Klara says she'll be a maiko-san. Grace: that guy with the nose and- Kurihara: No, that's MAIKO Jackson! Hoo~! Karl asks what he should be? He's going too, to protect Rosie. Maria suggests fundoshi. Everybody thinks this is a great idea except Karl, when all of a sudden, from above, there's a cry of TONO-SAMA!!! and the samurai guy runs down the stairs and into the living room! The prostitutes all clap.
Kurihara: Not you!!
Samurai guy: YOU!! *attacks*
Kurihara grabs a giant sword from behind the couch, saying there's a time when men have to fight. Karl goes too and grabs a walking stick. Rosemary's all excited. Karl keeps getting knocked on his ass, lol! Finally Maria knocks the samurai guy out by dropping a giant metal pan on his head. Kurihara ties him up (Maria: He's good at that, too. Grace: Guhuhuhu!) and Maria asks how much his fee is. Samurai guy acts all proud until Maria steps on him with her heels - ouch!! she negotiates a low fee including a bentou, and then has Klara take him off to her room to show him the ropes (so to speak).
(In the last few shows, after the door to Klara's room closed, you could hear her saying "itadakimasu~!"... omg Yasuka)
Somewhere in this scene, sorry I can't remember when exactly, Maria tells the audience about the visit to the doctors. She and Grace went together, and Grace was called back. Maria spied on them - she couldn't hear what they were saying, but she thinks she has a pretty good idea of what was going on. The doctor is played by Kurihara, who sits in the front of the stage with Grace. While Maria spies, they have a dialogue together (all done with prerecorded absurd sounding voices). The doctor asks if Grace is Maria's next-of-kin. No, but they're like family. Well, he has some bad news - Maria has an incurable disease. There's really nothing that can be done? No, just live out her last days in happiness. Oh, sensei!!!
Then we hear what actually happened, as Maria leaves the scene and the doctor and Grace speak naturally. Grace is behind on her payments, so the doctor can't see her anymore. Grace offers to pay with her body, and amusingly mimed sex ensues.
Meanwhile, back to the main scene in the brothel, Maria has a cup of tea and Rosemary offers her some "unusual" sugar. Maria asks what's special about it and Rosemary says it's youth-returning sugar, lol. Maria: I DON'T NEED THAT. But she laughs it off and takes it anyway. Grace, coming back down from the stairs, watches carefully. Karl and Rosemary are very quiet as Maria drinks. Maria: Hmm, not bad. Rosemary suggests that she keep it as her own special sugar, as it's rather expensive. Maria thanks her and goes off to bed. Grace goes off as well, and Karl and Rosemary come to the front of the stage as Kobaken, Hans and Kurihara clean up the living room.
They start singing verses like "nobody knows our secret... nobody understands our plan" while the three of them are obviously listening and walking up behind them like "huh?" LOL! then it goes into this incredible uptempo, over the top duet between Karl and Rosemary, involving a lot of really ridiculous writhing around, screaming each other's names, and then running into the audience, while the other three imitate the dance moves and try to pull them back on to the stage. It was just an incredibly funny number. I've never seen a show before that made Japanese audiences laugh out loud like this, I mean, this is a country where you usually only get titters during comedy movies, but this time people were DYING when the lights came up. The first act ends with Karl and Rosemary running off together to make love in Rosemary's room, and then Kobaken writhing on the floor while Hans screams his name, rofl.
Act Two
The second act starts with the curtain up and Kobaken in pajamas. Did everybody have a nice break? Did you tinkle? Did you wash your naughty bits? (etc., these lines were different day to day) He asked if people noticed him having a seizure at the end of act 1 or if everybody was too entranced by the love-love couple. It turns out that while he and Hans were putting stuff away, he found a bottle in Grace's room (he pulls out a bottle which looks just like the poison). Assuming it was an aphrodisiac, and having the compulsion to steal or pick up things and eat them, he ate half the bottle of it (ROFL). But not to worry!! He found another bottle in Klara's room. Yeah, he's not feeling so good. He wishes he could go to Japan with everybody, but instead he's stuck at home alone. He can still have a good time, though! He whips off the nightcap and then rips off the shirt. Uh oh. Yeah, you know what's coming next - the pants come off, and he's wearing fundoshi! Time for one last song - some kind of TV theme or hero show music, and the audience clapped along while he started running around, climbing on people's chairs, sitting on people in the audience, shaking his butt in people's faces, and generally just being absolutely horrifying XDDD He got a glass of tea from the staff (the wind guy, this time in all black) and dumps the other half of the bottle of poison in it, rofl!! Then they start playing "Auld Lang Syne," which always plays in shops in Japan when it's time for closing. Time for act 2!
(In the very last show, they changed the song to the Evangelion theme, "Zankoku na tenshi no teze" .... oh dear god XDDD)
More audience interaction - this time Hans and Samurai (Maria renamed him, lol) are walking down through the crowd passing out flyers for the show. Well, Hans is passing them out, Samurai is just walking and kind of waving one flyer irritably. Then he plops down on the stage and is like "break time!!" He complains about the work they do and why the prostitutes are staying in a special hotel, and Hans tries to explain that it's not just prostitution - it's a very high class affair. Amusing conversation ensues including Hans saying again that he's not interested in older women. Samurai tells him that's reducing his number of potential mates and guys just shouldn't do that! Then he says that from time to time, an older person is good too. Hans is like "you can be in charge of older girls, I'll be in charge of younger girls." Love should just be about two people both liking each other. Then Hans goes into a rant about girls with A cups wearing fancy bras. It's not that he doesn't like A cups! Far from it! A cups are very welcome! (Samurai: you're acting... strange...) But a wire bra?! That's like - taking an airplane from Shinagawa to Tokyo! Samurai: So... at what cup size would you allow a wire bra? (etc., and they go off stage)
The curtain opens to behind-the-scenes at the Japan shows. Now there's a folding table and chairs to the left with a room behind it, and a room to the right with a tatami floor. The rotating center stage now has the back of the set facing the audience. Maria Magdalena collapses at the table, wearing an awesome red silk dress and a golden beaded headdress over a short black wig. Grace comes in, fretting over her. Maria says she hasn't eaten yet, so Grace slides over the box of manjyuu that Samurai brought them. Maria tries one and says it's okay, but not as good as Zakhartorte, lol. She staggers offstage to get some rest and then Klara comes in, wearing a red silk kimono with a black shawl over it and fishnet stockings. Her hair is now straight and seems to have paper cranes in it (lol). Hans is there too, looking for his ears. They're in a box - he has special kitty ears to wear, which Klara puts on for him. Then Kurihara comes and takes him away, leaving the two women alone together.
Grace wonders out loud what's the matter with Maria and Klara shrugs it off nonchalantly. The topic of the special sugar comes up and Grace says it's just like regular sugar. Klara tastes it and makes an odd face. So it is. Grace goes off stage and says something which I don't recall, to which Klara replies "ari desu~" meaning just like "it is (could be)" - but making two little "antennae" over her head because ari also means ant. Grace bursts back out on stage. No! You're doing it wrong! An ant is a much more powerful creature!! Klara tries it again a little louder - ARI DESU! No! Wrong!! Louder, but it's still wrong! The fourth time, Klara would like jump and punch and say it, to which Grace would laugh and call her baka. Then Klara would pout, lol!! At the very last show, Klara did a back hand spring - in the kimono - !!! to which Grace finally said something like, "...okay, that works."
Karl comes out next, finding Klara sitting at the table. He sits beside her and kisses her on the head. Everything's going well, isn't it? Maria's ill. Klara shrugs. Couldn't it just be a cold? She offers him the "poison" and invites him to taste it. It's just regular sugar. What is going on?! Karl and Klara are almost caught when Kurihara and Rosemary come in, and Kurihara drags Karl off for the next number in the show. Rosemary and Klara are alone briefly, and Klara tries to see what will happen if she uses Maria's special sugar. Rosemary won't let her have it, and gives her other sugar to use instead.
The first number is Maria Magdalena singing "Blues in the Night" with Karl and Kurihara as her back-up dancers. Awesome, sexy vocals and great dancing. The set turns around so you get the audience's perspective, and you can now see the awesome paintings by Maruo Suehiro. On the left panel, there's a guy in what looks like a Nazi uniform blowing his brains out with a gun while a girl on her knees rests her head on his lap. The right panel had a traditional looking Japanese painting. After the song, there's some free talk with the audience which varied from show to show. Maria talks about how it's her first time in Japan, first time in Kabukichou. She feels quite at ease there, though, since apparently there are a lot of girls there who share the same occupation! There are a lot of "onii-san" in black suits, too, and maybe when you came to the theater they were calling after you? Maybe after the show they'll call after you too? (These are the guys hustling people to go into hostess/host clubs, porn shops, etc.) Maria tells the audience that "you must be very, very careful to definitely, definitely... go with them! You'll be sure to have a most interesting time!" There were also some funny lines about visiting bars where the Chinese mafia had shoot-outs, and in the last show, Maria offered a special discount on Rosemary, you could have her for 5% off!
Maria comes back offstage, though, and she's sicker than ever. Kurihara takes her back to the tatami room to rest and covers her with a Hello Kitty blanket, lol. Meanwhile the next number begins - Grace and Samurai doing "Kuroda Boogie-Woogie," an awesome mix of a sort of Big Band sound and traditional Japanese singing.
Klara and Hans are in the backstage area at the folding table. Hans is worried about Maria Magdalena, but Klara doesn't seem concerned. She says there's no point in getting all worried about it, because that won't make her any better. Hans: You're sure cool, aren't you? Klara: I hear that a lot. She leans in toward Hans and asks him again why he's not interested in older women. How does he know he doesn't like it if he hasn't ever tried and experienced the goodness of it? The stage spins around suddenly and Grace and Samurai repeat Samurai's line before about occasionally trying out an older person is a good thing... this time with Samurai grabbing Grace's boob at the end of it, lol. Then the stage spins back around and Hans says okay. Klara moves in closer and they start kissing - well, making out, you could hear all the nice wet sound effects through the mikes - and then the door opens and Karl is there, and he just sort of groans. Hans, who looks sort of dizzy, starts to say something but Karl says he knows it wasn't his fault, lol. Kurihara comes up behind and takes Hans off, leaving Karl and Klara alone again.
(in the last show, Klara was not only making out with Hans but also trying to remove his shirt, lol lol lol)
Their plans are getting all messed up, and they think Grace may be on to them, but Klara still has a small bottle of poison in her bra, which she gives to Karl. Karl holds out his hand and Klara stands up and walks over to him. Karl takes her in his arms and starts caressing her... Klara keeps moving his hand on to her bottom, lol. Rosemary walks in and sits at the "mirror." It takes her a good minute or so to notice what is going on, and she suddenly shrieks. Karl and Klara separate, and Kurihara comes in. What's going on-? Rosemary stands up, screams again, knees Kurihara in the crotch, and runs off, lol!! Karl follows her, and Klara sits back down again with a little sigh. Kurihara, once he recovers a little, tells her that Maria's condition looks really bad! Klara: Huh. The show is going to fall apart! Klara: Hmmm. But no matter what, they'll find a way! the show must go on!!! Klara: ...*achoo* (tiny, dainty little sneeze) Kurihara finally is like look, you have to come with me, we need to rearrange things. He offers his hand and Klara drops the kleenex she just took out of her bra and blew her nose with into it. Hahaha!
Meanwhile, Hans has gone to Maria's room. She has something urgent to tell him, a matter of life and death! Hans: Is this about my salary? M: No, more important than that! Hans: ...I'm gonna get national health insurance?! (LOL) Finally, she tells him that she has an incurable disease, and a minute or so later he's like YOU'RE GOING TO DIE?! But before she dies, she has to tell him... the real reason why she didn't hire him at first. when she first saw him, she realised that he was the symbol of her existence- and just as she is about to go into all of this, Kurihara bursts in! He needs Hans right then!! Outraged, Maria announces that she is going to die and covers herself with the Hello Kitty blanket, lol.
Grace and Samurai are on the third repeat of their song in a row, trying to buy time, and they are dying - so Hans has to go on as a replacement! Kurihara goes with him and as Grace and Samurai are leaving, he grabs Samurai and puts cat ears on him. Samurai's exhausted, but they've cut one number and moved the song he's dancing in up, so he has no choice. Hans starts singing "Kuroneko no Tango" with Kurihara and Samurai as his kitty back-up dancers (and yes, they tango).
Meanwhile, Karl chases Rosie across the front of the stage, who begs him not to make any excuses. He won't make any - it's just as it seems. The one he loves is Klara. He was her client from before, and she asked him for Maria Magdalena's brothel. So Rosemary was just being used. But when Karl puts her down for being a prostitute, that she'll sleep with anybody who pays, she asks, isn't Klara the same? Karl says Klara's a first-class prostitute, while Rosemary's third-rate. There's no comparison. He found her disgusting and hated having to sleep with her, let
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